Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
