Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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