hotel room ftw
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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