I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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