the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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