At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
