just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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