guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
