Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
