I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize