my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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