laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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