mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize