remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You can't special order awesome
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
