My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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