Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
