Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Who died my cat blue again?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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