NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
