Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
