I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
