i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
