Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I queefed so loud it echoed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
