He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize