If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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