I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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