The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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