Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
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I need you to use more vowels.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
