I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
