Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize