it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
