i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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