But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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