just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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