so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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