1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
