OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
