The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
