On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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