The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize