2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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