there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
