1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
