I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
