I think i peed on brittanys purse
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
