Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
