My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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