Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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