If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
