Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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