Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her

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(219): View more from Indiana

rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

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(352): View more from Florida

I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."

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(703): View more from Virginia

Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?

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(309): View more from Illinois

He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.

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(586): View more from Michigan

You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml

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