just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
