I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
