i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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