the condom got lost in my hair
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
