Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
