Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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