So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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