I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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