Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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