His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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