I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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