Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.

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(917): View more from New York City

did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?

(914): View more from New York

you mean faeutihaers?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried

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(240): View more from Maryland

It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.

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(775): View more from Nevada

This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story

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(206): View more from Washington

please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors

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