she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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